Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The System

Yesterday, I read this post, which was prompted by a question asked by a social worker who just so happens to frequent by blog, too. I love knowing she's reading, and I love it when she has input, it's just a whole different perspective than my own.

I'm not funny, and I would much rather you go read her post than the rest of my own... she's hilarious yet packs a punch and always makes me think. And I need reminded often that Charity and Blessing feel and act the way they do for darn good reasons. I know the world won't bend to them because of they're misfortune, and that beating their past to death with a stick does them no good... but neither does ignoring it or expecting them to just get over it.

Anyway that post really got me to thinking about our experience with the system, my biggest frustrations as well as what went well. For us, with every single placement, I really did feel as though each worker got into the field for the right reasons. That they loved the kids, and wanted what was best for them. I think of social workers kind of like I do teachers... most of them (there are those stinkin few) love kids and are good teachers that are just trying to do the best they can while working within the system that they have to abide by. They see the flaws sometimes even better than we do, but law, administrators, etc., force them to follow guidelines they wish they could toss out the window. ;) Add that there are too many cases (or students) per worker/teacher, and you get overworked, underpaid, frustrated and sometimes calloused workers. All that rambling to say I have loved my workers. Yes, some have been better than others about the visits or about letting me know all that is available to the child in terms of clothing allowance, etc., but each one has loved my children and I really believe wanted what was very best for them.

My frustration... no... deep, fueling anger... comes from the seemingly nonchalant attitude towards families who want to become foster or adoptive parents. We have encouraged and watched 3 different families that would make GREAT families... are open to older children and understand the complications of taking in abused/neglected kids (they know our RADling) try to get through the process... and yet 2 years later do not have open homes, or have open homes but have not been presented with disclosures. These are people who longingly desire to hold children, and knowing there are children who need them.... WHY AREN'T THEY TOGETHER???? Drives me insane. It's a HUGE problem in our state (AR).

I completely understand how overworked our adoption specialist, for example, is. I'm not pointing a finger at anyone, just saying SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. One family that I spoke of has the means to adopt internationally, they chose the state... they want to help these children. SO FRUSTRATING!

3 comments:

annieology said...

Yes, something needs to change. Thanks for the link love. xoxox

SocialWrkr24/7 said...

I'm so glad that you had good experiences!! But you are right, the system needs a lot of work... A LOT A LOT. :)

Mandy said...

I'm already praying for peace as we step foot into this ourselves. I'm preparing for a LONG wait, a lot of frustration, and not much making a lick of sense.

Isn't it really awesome how you and TJ doing as God instructed you has impacted so many to do the same? I honestly don't know that fostering or adopting would have seemed like a real thing to do for my family if we hadn't been able to watch you guys get into it, and if we wouldn't have had the awesome priveledge of watching those kids grow up with you guys.