A lot of nothing

Last night I spent a couple of hours with 3 friends, 1 of which I am just now getting to know. I casually mentioned something about how I had left my home as TJ came in, and our conversation exchange as I left. The chaos of our life, and the topics that have become day to day lingo has become so normal to me, that I sometimes forget how abnormal it really is. Court dates, visits, counselors, psychiatrist, case workers, outbursts, emotional breaks and the list goes on and on. We have rejoiced over hurting a child's feelings. Because with 3 of the children who have been in our home, we weren't sure that was possible. It's not that we want to hurt them, but realizing they actually have the capacity to feel on that level did not come right away with any of them. Yes, they become frustrated when they do not get their way, but that is very different than a feeling of remorse, or hurt because they do, indeed, want to please us. Or do, indeed, understand their behavior was wrong and they want to change it.

Anyway, at the mention of my passing directions to my husband, this new friend had a mixture of laughing/confusion sort of reaction and I realized I needed to make some explanations. I could see her trying to figure out just exactly how many kids I had at my home!

Yesterday was a very long day of work for my husband. He left at 7:15, worked through his lunch, and only came home at 6:45 because he knew I had plans. My friend was already in our driveway as he pulled in from work, and so we had a very quick exchange while standing under the carport. It was this conversation that I casually mentioned that caused my new friend a round of laughter. Had I known my life could bring such response, I would have shared it earlier! ;) So, just in case your sense of humor is anything like hers (or mine), here's how the conversation went:

Before he had even opened his door, I had already started in on his directions. "Blessing can not get out of time-out for another 4 minutes, then it's bath and bed for her. Charity can have 1 cookie IF she eats those peas and carrots on her plate. 1 cookie ONLY, and ONLY if all the green and orange stuff is gone. Grace already had her cookie and she can get out of time-out when the oven timer goes off. Oh, yeah, if Charity gets down from the bar before finishing the green stuff the cookie deal is null and void. I told Faith and Hope they could sleep in the loft if they folded the clothes on my bed. Don't forget Grace's claritin, and Charity's cream, and they're all really tired from swimming and no nap today." Still trying to get in every ounce of info he needed to hear even as I climbed into my friend's van and he was walking away, I was still calling after him, "Oh, and we haven't gotten that packet from the Development Center for Children, I think you need to go back to the doctor's office and see why.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to say all of that. You can safely assume all the children ate the rest of the cookies, no one lingered in time-out any longer than it took me to get out of the drive-way, and I doubt anyone had a bath. The doctor's office was already closed.

Let me put in a plug for my hubby here..... Again, not bashing him. He really and truly is an amazing man whose grace runs deep and the love for his children is very obvious. The stress of no job is currently weighing heavy on him. He takes providing for his family very serious, and trying to balance that kind of work ethic and responsibility with dependence on God and His timing is not always an easy thing. He is very helpful around our home, and with our kids, and I don't want to paint any different picture of him by stating what I'm sure to be true of last night. ;)

After some explanation, my new friend wittingly suggested that we should just pin a timer on each kid every day. That way, when it's time-out, I just push on their timer, and there's no confusion about who has to sit for how much longer. Now there's an idea!