Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Tomorrow Mercy has her PACE assessment with UAMS. The last one I attended with a foster son was pretty lengthy, so I anticipate a long day. Her mom and dad are also coming and I'll be supervising a visit. I was present at the last visit, and they were both not only respectful and polite to me but also kind and appreciative. Awkwardness is still alive and well, but mostly because I don't want to make them feel like I've taken their place. I can't imagine what it must be like to be on the other side. I must be awful threatening as it is, add that I know what's wrong when the baby cries, and they don't, and it can get hairy. Step in and tell them what to do? Can that be taught without inducing a feeling of inferiority and making them feel like they don't know their own baby? They don't, by the way. They've seen her for 1 hour in 3 weeks. I'm so ambivalent. I want to support, encourage, teach, and whole-heartedly work towards reunifying what could be a very successful family. I also want to steal away in the dark of night with my beautiful little baby to hold and rock and never let go. Ah, the life of a foster parent. The day I don't love my placements (I hate calling them that, they're my children) that much, though, is the day I need to quit being a foster parent. Don't you think?

Meanwhile, we accomplished all but math in school today. I've given Faith and Hope a little more freedom lately, by making assignments that are more lengthy than normal, stating a due date and time, and then letting them work when they want to. That's working very well, and surprisingly they've both asked without prompting how much should be done each day in order to complete it by the due date. Impressive for a 10 and 8 year old - to me, anyway. I've also noticed both working at various times during the day. I'm so proud! And as for math....Dad has to fix the dvd player first. So we're on hold for a few days.

We have lots of ideas up our sleeves, and that's always fun... to think, dream, and plan. Where the rubber meets the road, though, is another story. If money was no obstacle ..... well, what a life that would be! We are currently very interested in therapeutic riding. Becoming a certified instructor through NARHA would only be a couple of months worth of work. There is really nothing like that in our area. We would also love to offer weekend retreats/training/respite and support for families like ours, and other families with handicapped or emotionally disturbed kids on a ranch-type property. Much work is needed before we get to that point, though. Like, um, land. A big enough house and/or camp-style cabins. A barn. And lets not forget horses. Anyone have half a million dollars lying around?


Annie said...

Well, since you you take checks? My nine year old always wants me to write him a million dollar check. I tell him all the time, I'd be happy to, just don't cash it:)

I'll pray for the universe to conspire for you.

Maury said...

Well, the last 2 months are a total blur to me, but I think that mine took about 3 hrs, but the lady that was with me was surprised it was taking so long. And, that was for 2 kids too. So, maybe yours won't be too bad. I actually liked mine...I think they are the most professional people I have dealt with so far.

Who all you bringing with you tomorrow, ya wanna come visit?? Haha like you need anything else to deal with while doing that, but if you wanna, give me a call!

We had a dentist visit today with Amber....I thought of you. Oh my word.

I have been wanting to e-mail you, but my brain is just such total and absolute mush right now, I can't get it all together what I want to say.

chickadee@afamiliarpath said...

so how does art fit into tomorrow? call me in the am and let me know. around 10:30ish?

Anonymous said...

Ooooooooh girl you got me absolutely giddy there for a minute. Hippotherapy,thats what its called right?I have always wanted to do that with Kendall.Ideas run amuck in my head too..LOL.If only we could find a few million dollar backers.

glitzen said...

What a great dream you have. I would love to get certified in that too, we have the horses but there it stops.
I am getting a new baby! A one year old mini horse. He is such a cutie pie. Cannot wait. I hope to train him to a cart and as a therapy horse. My dream.

40winkzzz said...

Re your comments on foster parenting: There is a couple in our church who recently adopted a pair of "older" kids. In talking with the mom at some point before they actually had the kids, she made the comment that, although the kids liked their foster family, they did not feel a closeness with them, and that foster parents are instructed "not to form close bonds with the kids". And while I understand the reasoning behind that, it just seems wrong. I am so glad that there are foster parents out there like you who are willing to put their hearts on the line and love those kids like crazy even though it means heartache when they go away.

And re your girls and their schoolwork: Hooray for you and hooray for them! Wow! Being able to work independently like that is so good for them and makes life so much easier for you. My "littles" are 10 & 13 and really not quite as far along as yours in that whole self-management thing, though they are getting there. It doesn't help that they are the "littles" and it is easy for me to baby them. My older ones were independent & self-mananging much sooner. (There *are* advantages to having a mom who is busy with younger children! :-)

Re the horse thing: There is a homeschool family near us who has a therapeutic riding ministry/business. Now you have piqued my curiosity about that. If I see her again I will have to ask more about it. And if you wanted to talk to her at all I'm sure I could find her email address.